Philosophy Airplane Jokes

  • During a flight to Paris, a stewardess walks up to Rene Descartes and asks, "Would you like something to drink?" After a moment the French philosopher answers, "I think not." And he disappears.
  • As a flight to Elea is preparing to take off, a stewardness rushes up to Parmenides. "I'm sorry, Sir," she says. "I'm afraid you're in the wrong seat. Could you please move?" "Of course," he replies. And he disappears.
  • As passengers were disembarking from the flight to Ephesus, Heraclitus discovers that his legs have gone to sleep. Noticing that he hasn't disembarked, the stewardess asks him, "What's wrong?" "I can't move," he replies. And he disappears.
  • A stewardess pushes the refreshment cart up to Thales seat, and asks him if he wants some water to drink. "No," answers the Melisian. "I'll have a Pepsi." And he disappears.
  • A passenger on the flight to Elea leans over to Pyrrho and asks if he knows the time. "Yes, I do," answers the Skeptic. And he disappears.
  • On the flight to Bermuda, a passenger asks Bishop Berkeley if he had a watch. The Empiricist searches his coat pockets for several moments and finally admits, "I appear not." And he disappears.
  • Anaximander enjoyed several cups of wine on his trip home to Miletus. When the stewardess asks if he would like one more, the Philosopher belches and says, "Oh, no. I've reached my limit." And he disappears.
  • Plato and the rest of the passengers on the flight to Athens had been waiting for takeoff for thirty minutes when finally the pilot comes on the speaker and says. "Sorry for the delay, folks, but we're having a little engine trouble. We'll be on our way in about an hour." "An hour!" the philosopher exclaims. "Now I'll miss my appointment! I wasn't informed!" And he disappears.
  • Aristotle, on the same flight, shrugs complacently and says, "Oh, well. No matter!" And he disappears.
  • Zeno is flying to Elea when he asks the stewardess where they are. "Why we're flying over Athens right now," she answers. The Monist replies, "Excellent! We're over halfway there!" And he disappears.
Copyright 2006-2017 Jeffrey Coombs